The Weight of a Name

I hate the name of my podcast. I hate the name of this page. Finding Myself Through Obesity felt so right when I changed it from Healthy Momma Journey. At the time, I believed this was my path… not just to healing, but to getting skinny. I thought that by the end of this journey, I’d have the success story I always dreamed of. That I’d lose the weight, find peace with food, and be able to help others do the same.

But here I am, years later, and I’m not skinny. I never reached that picture I imagined. And now, the name Finding Myself Through Obesity feels like an expectation I can’t live up to. Like a label I never meant to carry.

The word obesity is heavy. It comes with so much shame, and I feel that shame in my bones. No one dreams of being obese. No one wants to live in a body that feels uncomfortable, that people judge before they know you, that doctors see as a problem before they see you. And yet, here I am still in this body, still trying to figure it all out, and still carrying the weight of a name that no longer feels like mine.

When I first started this journey, I thought food was my problem. But the deeper I’ve gone, the more I’ve realized that food was my control. It was my comfort, my escape, my safety. When everything else felt out of control, food was the one thing I could turn to. And now, I carry the weight of that comfort like a secret I can’t put down.

So now I ask myself… do I change the name? Do I leave behind Finding Myself Through Obesity because I don’t want to be defined by that word anymore? Or do I sit in this discomfort and let myself exist in the middle of my story instead of waiting for a perfect ending?

I don’t have the answers yet. But I know this:

I am still finding myself.

I am still learning how to heal.

I am still figuring out how to let go of the shame that never belonged to me in the first place.

If you’ve ever felt trapped by a name, a label, or an expectation that no longer fits just know, I see you. And you are not alone.