Emotional Weightloss
Welcome to Finding Myself Through Obesity Blog again! We are back. Today this blog is all about the most important things that I learned out of the Emotional Weight Series.
My very first started this journey I wrote down these 10 things and like I said in last episode I was so surprised of all the things that I learned about myself. When I saw this quote I wanted to share it because I thought it was perfect. The emotional weight series is basically learning the truth about myself and so I wanted to share this quote:
“The degree to which a person can grow is in direct proportion to the amount of truth that they can accept about themselves without running away”
I thought that was so good because it’s so hard to explain this journey to other people who need to lose weight because it’s like these truths that are inside of us so we don’t even know we’re there. As I’ve been sharing my journey of losing 85 lb and then gaining it all back…. I have realized how many people are like me. There are so many people who put the effort into losing a lot of weight and then just gained it back. And the reason this keeps happening to us is because we never learned how to heal the wounds of why we started overeating in the first place. That’s is what my blog and podcast is all about… really uncovering that truth and finding who we really are.
The emotional weight series is representing all of the things that I didn’t really want to look at. But I think that we have clues… if we’ll look at the things that we’re not happy with. Look deeper into the things that trigger us. I believe there are clues when we dig deeper and look for what more there is to learn.
The first step is simply noticing!
Notice how you feel. Start noticing the emotion that you feel. Notice where you feel it in your body. Notice what memories come up. And when we are first starting on this journey and we’re trying to sit with our emotions try not to eat too much. Allow yourself sit through these emotions and get through those moments without stuffing them down. That’s what the food represents or any kind of addiction represents. Is stuffing those emotions down so that we don’t have to feel the things that are coming up.
When we were little kids, we were taught not to feel angry and not to feel sad. And then it gets confusing because as we get older we wonder why we aren’t listening to ourselves anymore. When did I stop listening to myself? When did we stop Trusting our own thoughts and our own feelings? If you think about that and be curious about it…. you may have a thought that comes up. About the last time you actually said how you felt and you got in trouble or something like that. That teaches us that it’s not okay to speak her mind to feel what we feel.
There’s a new wave of healing that the world is going towards right now. I think that New pandemic really got that ball rolling because people had to be with themselves. They had to quarantine and being their home and kind of break up their regular routine. And I think it’s making everyone feel ready to get healthy mentally and ready to do the inner healing. I actually asked my mentor if she would let me record our healing sessions because I want to take you along on this journey of me really opening up to the world. Showing my wounds and showing all of the dark parts of me so that I can heal them and maybe we will all see something beautiful come out of it. That at the end of this I will have lost that hundred and fifty pounds and it won’t be a battle for the rest of my life. I believe that it is possible.
For all of my listeners and the people that come to me for struggling with their food addiction or with their weight and they are scared to start a diet again… I really want to create a membership who can offer women like me… the support we need to start to heal. It is so nice to know that we’re not alone. I want them to know that i understand and there are others out there that do too. I understand what it feels like to Obese to be two hundred + pounds and feel so alone and feel so ashamed of what we look like and not knowing why and not knowing why we can’t change it. I always would say I want to… “want to” lose weight but now that I’m looking back honestly I couldn’t lose the weight because the food was the only thing that was getting me through the moments. The only thing that was helping me hide. Otherwise I would have been exposed and I was running away. I was running away from that.
I really am looking forward to the healing. Even if it takes awhile for me to lose the weight… I feel inside of me that it will happen and that I will get healthy. I’m glad that I’m on here documenting still. Even after all that has happened. I keep saying there’s a reason that all of this happened exactly the way it did…. because so many people go on a weight loss journey just like I did. They lose the weight and they think they have all the answers. But then something difficult comes up in their life and they don’t know how to handle it without the food.
And then the shame comes on and they blame themselves and honestly we didn’t know how to do it any other way. That is why I am starting this blog and podcast. That’s why I’m going on this journey. I want to help pave the way for women like me… who are so tired of being scared of doing a diet because they’re afraid of being happy and being excited about a new life and then having something come up and and then gaining it all back and going back to square one again. And it’s a painful place to be. And that’s why I feel like this this membership that I want to create is going to be so amazing because I think that’s one of the biggest things that helped me when I started to come out of this depression was having a community that believed in me. A community that understood what I was going through. So that’s what I want to be for you guys and you can do the work WITH me and together we can learn.
I just wanted to do a little review the most important parts of what I learned in the emotional weight series. I will put a link to click on each of the emotional weight titles below and it will take you to the original blog posts if you missed them and want to read the whole blog.
The first emotional weight issue was all about my childhood…. I realized that I I didn’t feel safe to speak my mind and to say what I feel which is a huge issue and led me to my second issue.
The second emotional weight issue was all about codependency and people-pleasing. I felt like I had to do everything you say. I needed you to need me. It all kind of snowballed into people pleasing. As a people pleaser… you think that you’re this nice person and that you care about people but people-pleasing is really about lying and not being truthful. Speaking of lying that snowballs into:
The third emotional weight issue was all about my marriage and the lies that I told my husband so that I would get his love and approval too. I people pleased him. I told him lies and didn’t tell him how I was really feeling because I never learned how to do that. In my marriage… The fact that I didn’t trust my husband and I wasn’t letting go of my dad is hard to see. I was also not trusting that my husband was going to take care of me.(back to trusting what my dad was saying) I was not communicating how I feel because I never learned that it was ok to do that. It caused huge problems and huge misunderstandings between my husband and I. A lot of resentment was created. I was really grateful for my marriage episode because for a long time I was a victim in my marriage and it really brought to light the part that I did. It helped me realize really how much my husband has done for me even though I didn’t see it because I was looking through a lens of victimhood. I wasn’t looking at myself in a True Light.
The fourth emotional weight issue is the fact that I stopped dreaming. I’m going to do another episode about meditation but being able to dream and hope for things in the future is so important to our growth. My husband and I had 25 years of marriage that was pretty much the same thing over and over and over again. It was the same struggle and never changed and always got worse. So of course, I lost hope. I stopped hoping and dreaming for anything and that is just not any way to live.
The fifth emotional weight issue was being honest, taking responsibility and stepping into my power – being honest especially about the money really taking responsibility for where I am and realizing that I wanted to belong in that acceptance from my parents instead of belonging to MYSELF and not really stepping into an adult role and taking responsibility for my life and just and deciding what I want and making that happen and so that is super important.
The sixth emotional weight issue was learning to deal with negative emotions and I love what my mentor taught and she said that your emotions are alarm clocks your awareness so when you’re feeling something negative…. breathe into it and feel it…. allow yourself to feel it. Allow yourself to have thoughts, Journal them and just see what comes up for you because you mayl be surprised at how much you learn.
The seventh emotional weight issue is money guilt and scarcity around money and I just realized how much I let Money dictate everything in my life. I was so scared of not having it and I think it goes back to my Dad telling me that we’re not to be able to afford to get married. My husband was always struggling financially and my Dad felt like he had to step in and take care of me financially. The issue of me living in his house… so many issues there. There are going to be a lot of changes coming up in that area thankfully. I’m going to be taking a huge move into the direction of being independent and taking care of myself and not having my Dad be responsible for me and realizing that I can take care of myself and so that is going to be coming up and I’m excited and nervous too. There’s a lot of fears that I have around that and I’ve been working with my mentor to process those things and it is getting better so that is good.
The eighth emotional weight issue is my connection to God and this is something that’s always been a really important to me. I love to feel spiritual and to feel God. I love to feel connected and guided. I noticed when I’m eating good and I’m taking care of myself, my connection to God is so much better. I feel like the love that we have for ourselves is like a conduit for accepting God’s love. I believe Gods love is always there for us but we don’t always accept it, feel it or allow it. When we are not taking care of ourselves and we’re not feeling worthy of it then we don’t recognize it.
The ninth emotional weight issue is self-love – We need to start Listening to ourselves more. Start look at yourself in the mirror and don’t criticize yourself. I realized how hard that was for me to look at myself in the mirror and It would be a good challenge for any of you. If you’re having a hard time being aligned with yourself just look at yourself in the mirror every single day. You don’t even have to say anything but just look into your own eyes and see what you see. Notice what comes up in your thoughts too because that could be a clue to why you don’t want to look at yourself.
The tenth emotional weight issue is unrealistic expectations which is something I always had because I wanted to be perfect. I never wanted to make mistakes and having those expectations of perfection… you are guaranteed to not be happy because it’s not realistic and it will never happen. Nobody is going to go through life always happy with everything going right and never getting hurt, never struggling. It’s just not realistic. I’m so grateful for all of these things I am learning. It’s funny how you write them down without thinking too hard, Just letting them flow out of you when you put pen to paper…. and your soul knows! Our souls know what we need. I believe that! We do have the answers inside of us but a lot of us…. we’re not looking for the answers. Most of us are looking for the answers outside of us and they’re not there! The answers are inside of us and we have to be willing to look and not be scared and not run to find them.
If you have any questions comment on here or find me on social media so we can ave a conversation. I am loving all the learning I am doing. I would love to connect with you and see how you are doing and I would love to go on this journey with you. So join me and ask me questions. Let me know if this resonates with you and we will see you guys next week.